If you haven't bought and listened to the album Marked by Heaven by Jake Hamilton, please do it now. It is passionate and spirit-led worship, and truly an anthem for our generation. He is one of the worship leaders at Bethel church (pastored by Bill Johnson- one of my heroes, and surely the topic of another post) and part of Jesus Culture. As I was on the subway the other day, I was listening to the song Embrace, and God really spoke to me through it.
"It's all gonna be okay, for I know if your eye is on the sparrow and your heart is on Me"
First I felt the judgment of God- the idea that He was watching me and looking carefully at my sin, knowing when my heart strayed from His. But then His love just hit me. He is the good Father, watching over His children. He knows us from the inside out. He watches because He love us, so He can guide and discipline us. As I was sitting in the subway car, knowing that God was watching, He filled me with peace. The words of King David made a little bit more sense- "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!" (Psalm 139:23) What a joy that God knows our hearts!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
hero
Tony Dungy is one of my heroes. One of his friends wrote this about him, "He asked me if there was anybody who I thought could talk to the young man. I told him Tony Dungy was a man of impeccable integrity, who understands young men." (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=100128/TonyDungy)
How many people can you say that about? "He is a man or woman of impeccable integrity." This is the type of integrity that goes beyond external actions; it screams of selflessness and love. It's the type of integrity Jesus had, willing to give up everything for another. In that sense, it's no surprise that Tony Dungy is such a powerful witness for Christ. It's also something that you don't one day just have, impeccable integrity is earned through difficulty and sacrifice. Here is part of his testimony- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3PUPCR7NFA&feature=related.
I know my own character is far from there, but I pray that He'll keep on directing me and changing me.
How many people can you say that about? "He is a man or woman of impeccable integrity." This is the type of integrity that goes beyond external actions; it screams of selflessness and love. It's the type of integrity Jesus had, willing to give up everything for another. In that sense, it's no surprise that Tony Dungy is such a powerful witness for Christ. It's also something that you don't one day just have, impeccable integrity is earned through difficulty and sacrifice. Here is part of his testimony- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3PUPCR7NFA&feature=related.
I know my own character is far from there, but I pray that He'll keep on directing me and changing me.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
still alive
I've been reflecting on my trip to Haiti and the earthquake for some time now, and I admit I'm still broken, confused and sometimes even angry. I wrote an extensive update for my supporters within a few days of coming back, but after the earthquake I realized that some things have changed. Some of the questions I had in those few days have been answered, while other questions have popped up. In the end though, I believe God is glorified through all of this: my team's work in Haiti, and even through the earthquake.
I find myself endlessly editing that original update (it's too long to post), and in the process I can see God's heart for Haiti more and more. I remember reading an article about the evangelist Pat Robertson claiming that the earthquake was God's punishment for a pact Haiti had made with the devil. While God does indeed curse people, and even nations for their sin, I believe that it is beyond us to claim to know God's will in this.
One thing that I couldn't help but notice, in my time in Haiti, was the brokenness: there is no infrastructure, there is almost no economy, and there is often no justice. Corruption is rampant; even Christianity is corrupted by voodoo. But, there was one other thing I saw: Haitians that were willing to do anything to help their people, churches doing everything they could to see Christ glorified in Haiti, and the multitude of foreign aid groups and missions teams yearning and praying for change in Haiti. All of this was before the earthquake. The church, the body of Christ, is reaching out to Haiti before and after the earthquake. In the news reports of Haiti, I have read numerous claims of people on the streets repenting, turning their lives to Jesus, and people singing songs of praise in the face of death and destruction. From the survivors, there seem to be more cries of thankfulness for life than anger from loss. I pray that this will be a time when lives are changed for the better.
From a more personal perspective, it has been really hard hearing updates from people in Haiti. Most of the doctors we worked with have lost all their possessions, and many have lost family as well. I cannot imagine what they are going through and the pain they are feeling. But there is also a sense of joy. One of the doctors who almost died in the earthquake wrote this, "still alive to continue our mission on the earth." Amen.
I find myself endlessly editing that original update (it's too long to post), and in the process I can see God's heart for Haiti more and more. I remember reading an article about the evangelist Pat Robertson claiming that the earthquake was God's punishment for a pact Haiti had made with the devil. While God does indeed curse people, and even nations for their sin, I believe that it is beyond us to claim to know God's will in this.
One thing that I couldn't help but notice, in my time in Haiti, was the brokenness: there is no infrastructure, there is almost no economy, and there is often no justice. Corruption is rampant; even Christianity is corrupted by voodoo. But, there was one other thing I saw: Haitians that were willing to do anything to help their people, churches doing everything they could to see Christ glorified in Haiti, and the multitude of foreign aid groups and missions teams yearning and praying for change in Haiti. All of this was before the earthquake. The church, the body of Christ, is reaching out to Haiti before and after the earthquake. In the news reports of Haiti, I have read numerous claims of people on the streets repenting, turning their lives to Jesus, and people singing songs of praise in the face of death and destruction. From the survivors, there seem to be more cries of thankfulness for life than anger from loss. I pray that this will be a time when lives are changed for the better.
From a more personal perspective, it has been really hard hearing updates from people in Haiti. Most of the doctors we worked with have lost all their possessions, and many have lost family as well. I cannot imagine what they are going through and the pain they are feeling. But there is also a sense of joy. One of the doctors who almost died in the earthquake wrote this, "still alive to continue our mission on the earth." Amen.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
back to the 'real' world
I'll be posting my Haiti update after I've had a little more time to process what happened during the trip, but right now I'm definitely struggling with the transition back to the 'real' world. It scares me that the world I live in, is so completely different than the world I just came from. It also scares me how much I desired to get back to this 'real' world with warm showers and mosquito-free rooms: the more comfortable life. Could I do long-term missions in a similar setting; could I let go of these comforts?
Jaeson Ma (jaesonma.com/refocus), in a blog entry about refocusing in 2010, asks the question, "Do I look like Him?" Jesus is the ultimate example; He was willing to let go of every comfort, and even life itself for our sake. Can I let go of everything for Him? Do I look like Him?
Monday, December 21, 2009
the weak things of the world
I love reading GMH (givesmehope.com). I admit that I'm very cynical when it comes to people- in my head I constantly question people's motives and often find it hard to see the "best" in people. So when I stumbled upon GMH, I was pleasantly surprised. The stories of selflessness, healing and love (not the romantic kind) showed me glimpses of God's character, manifest as light in our dark world.
One thing I found shocking, were the various stories of the homeless bringing hope to the homefull! Here are a couple examples:
"Today, my car broke down in the middle of downtown Atlanta. Three homeless guys helped me move the car out of the road, find a towing company to call and then proceeded to wait with me for an hour until my mom got there just to make sure I was safe. Their generosity GMH."
"My family & I got separated in New York City when I was little. Scared, I sat crying on the sidewalk as tons of people passed by. A homeless man picked me up, comforted me, & carried me to a police officer, who found my parents. He had a long beard & I asked if he was Jesus. He laughed so hard he cried. He GMH."
I think if the Apostle Paul had known about GMH, he would have written it this way:
"For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For He chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; He chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong. Jesus GMH." [~1 Corinthians 1:18,27]
One thing I found shocking, were the various stories of the homeless bringing hope to the homefull! Here are a couple examples:
"Today, my car broke down in the middle of downtown Atlanta. Three homeless guys helped me move the car out of the road, find a towing company to call and then proceeded to wait with me for an hour until my mom got there just to make sure I was safe. Their generosity GMH."
"My family & I got separated in New York City when I was little. Scared, I sat crying on the sidewalk as tons of people passed by. A homeless man picked me up, comforted me, & carried me to a police officer, who found my parents. He had a long beard & I asked if he was Jesus. He laughed so hard he cried. He GMH."
There is something I just find beautiful in these posts. The very thing that some people call 'useless' and 'ugly,' is the very same thing that can give hope and joy to others. And God works in the same way- He took the ugliest thing of this world, the cross, and used it to give hope to a dark world.
I think if the Apostle Paul had known about GMH, he would have written it this way:
"For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For He chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; He chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong. Jesus GMH." [~1 Corinthians 1:18,27]
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
more than an echo
I read an article in CNN today about the evangelist Oral Roberts. He was what we call a 'faith healer,' though when given that label he rejected it saying "God heals- I don't." The article estimates that he 'laid hands' on over 2 million people over a period of 300 crusades on 6 continents. One picture from the article shows him preaching at chapel THIS year- this man preached until the ripe age of 91, until He went to be with the Lord.
"After I'm gone, others will have to judge how well I've obeyed God's command not to be an echo but to be a voice like Jesus; as far as my own conviction is concerned, I've tried to be that voice with every fiber of my being, regardless of the cost."
This quote from Oral Roberts really struck me- that we must be more than an echo. Throughout most of my church life, most of my beliefs and ideas were echoes of what I had been told. Even in my study of scripture, I listened to sermons, read books and trusted in commentaries- I often left little room for the Holy Spirit to guide me and create something new. I believe that God speaks to us directly, and that when we forget that and try to follow the commands of this world (whether it be work, school, the media or even church), we distort the image of God in us. Like the "clanging cymbal" in 1 Corinthians 13:1, when we are apart from the true love of God, we just echo the discordant ways of this world.
Reading this quote also helped me understand my life verse, 2 Corinthians 5:17, a little bit more. I love how the ESV translation says 'behold, the new has come'- there is something tremendously shocking and different and even unfamiliar when Christ is in us. Echoes are reflections of something already there, but Christ's work in us is brand new. A friend told me that the only proof of being saved is radical transformation. I tend to agree. We can no longer echo the world around us, instead we must become "a voice like Jesus."
Link to article: http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/12/15/oral.roberts/index.html
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
a new man
"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20
"But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world." Galatians 6:14
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17
The past few months have been like a new life for me. I understand these verses a little more everyday, but also wonder how honest Paul was when he wrote these verses. Did he really boast in NOTHING else except the cross of Christ? Did he live completely in his faith? I know my faith is definitely not there- I hope through His word that one day it will be.
I feel parts of my adhesions to the world peeling away, but other parts are just as sticky as ever. We shared in small group about our priorities, and it just hit me how much I still yearn for people's acceptance. I feel like it has been a thorn in my side forever, a desire that I hope God will just pluck away.
Medical School, thankfully, has not been a thorn in my side. I am thankful that God has allowed my life to be more than just studying. Last year, especially the first few months, life was just studying with breaks for food, sleep and church. But this year life has felt like church with breaks for food, sleep and school. I'm truly thankful for that. I hope that I can continue growing, and see every part of my life change.
The most important things I've learned so far these last few months have been from studying His Word: God loves justice and hates injustice; God yearns for us to worship in Spirit and Truth; the Word as just knowledge is useless, it has to work and fester in our heart with the Holy Spirit; and finally, God has been teaching me that His healing is way more powerful than the healing I'm learning about in Medical School.
"But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world." Galatians 6:14
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17
The past few months have been like a new life for me. I understand these verses a little more everyday, but also wonder how honest Paul was when he wrote these verses. Did he really boast in NOTHING else except the cross of Christ? Did he live completely in his faith? I know my faith is definitely not there- I hope through His word that one day it will be.
I feel parts of my adhesions to the world peeling away, but other parts are just as sticky as ever. We shared in small group about our priorities, and it just hit me how much I still yearn for people's acceptance. I feel like it has been a thorn in my side forever, a desire that I hope God will just pluck away.
Medical School, thankfully, has not been a thorn in my side. I am thankful that God has allowed my life to be more than just studying. Last year, especially the first few months, life was just studying with breaks for food, sleep and church. But this year life has felt like church with breaks for food, sleep and school. I'm truly thankful for that. I hope that I can continue growing, and see every part of my life change.
The most important things I've learned so far these last few months have been from studying His Word: God loves justice and hates injustice; God yearns for us to worship in Spirit and Truth; the Word as just knowledge is useless, it has to work and fester in our heart with the Holy Spirit; and finally, God has been teaching me that His healing is way more powerful than the healing I'm learning about in Medical School.
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